The ABCS of Star Wars

THE ABCS OF STAR WARS

A is for Admiral Ackbar, a fish like creature who pilots a ship. He is known for saying the line IT’S A TRAP! (What? Look at him, he does kind of look like a fish).

B is for Boba Fett, the Bounty Hunter sent for Han Solo. He has very few lines in the original but is still awesome. In the prequels he is a kid so he isn’t the best then. (How can he be so cool yet say almost nothing? I wish I could be that cool).

C is for Chewbacca the lovable wookiee co-pilot of the Millennium Falcon. (He could rip your arms off if you beat him in a game, though)

D is for Droids, robots including C-3PO, the smart and annoying (in an endearing way, of course) golden droid, R2-D2, the sassy small droid, and BB-8, the R2-D2 for newer generations. (C-3PO and R2-D2 are a pair, I refuse to let them be separated).

E is for Ewoks, the teddy bear like creature of Endor (the planet with all the pine trees on it), who hail C-3PO as a god. They also helped the rebels in defeating the Empire. (I’m curious as to why so many people find them annoying. They are so adorable! Yes, they are basically Teddy Bears, but they also had a guy wearing a werewolf mask in the Mos Eisley Cantina. I’m not joking, look it up)

F is for the Force, the energy that surrounds everything. It is used by the Jedi (and the Sith). When used it kind of looks like telekinesis. (At first it seemed like a power but later it was revealed to be some energy thing).

G is for Greedo, who was sent to take Han Solo, but trusted Solo enough to let him keep his hands under the table. (HAN SHOT FIRST, END OF DISCUSSION).

H is for Han Solo, the smuggler who agreed to take Luke and Ben Kenobi to the Death Star for money, and found love there (it took some time, but now him and Leia have a happy family, with their son joining the dark side and killing his own father [spoiler, but at this point you should have already seen the Force Awakens]. So, you know, a normal family)

I is for Imperial Probe, sent down to Hoth to try to find the Rebels (Look, it’s hard coming up with stuff on the spot. This was all I could think of).

J is for Jabba the Hut, the fat alien on the desert planet Tatooine, who wants Han Solo (You honestly though I would put Jar Jar Binks here? Really?)

K is for Kylo Ren, Han Solo and Leia’s son, who joined the dark side and has temper tantrums. (I mean, honestly, you don’t need to pull out your lightsaber and slash up the ship. I know it is important for you to get the map and all, but still)

L is for Lightsaber, the weapon on the Jedi and the Sith, that can be blue, green, or purple if you are with the Jedi, and red if you are with the Sith. (You would think the Sith would get some option in choosing colors. Just imagine some Sith giving his apprentice a lightsaber. Do you want red or red as your color?)

M is for Millennium Falcon, Han Solo’s ship. He loses it, and Rey finds it and returns it to him. Before he dies, of course. (Did you know that Millennium means 1000 years? So you could call it Bird of Prey 1000).

N is for Naboo, a planet from the prequels. (NO. I AM NOT SAYING THAT JAR JAR BINKS LIVES THERE)

O is for Obi One Kenobi, the Jedi who trained both Anakin and Luke. When on Tatooine, he was known as the hermit Ben Kenobi. He also saved Luke from Sand People. (He also didn’t tell Luke that he had a sister, which resulted in….something. And he didn’t tell him that his father wasn’t actually killed by Darth Vader, but became Darth Vader. I mean really, he couldn’t just tell him that?)

P is for Princess Leia, the tough Princess who later becomes a general. She is the Mother of Kylo Ren. She helps save the whole galaxy. (I’m not sure how to describe her because she is too awesome for words).

Q is for Qui Gon Jinn, the person who trained Obi One Kenobi. He was killed by Darth Maul. (He was the only thing I could think of that started with the latter Q)

R is for Rey, the desert dweller waiting for her family to return. She finds a droid with important information regarding the Rebellion/Resistance. She knows how to fly a ship. (Wait, she is starting to sound a lot like Luke Skywalker now. Maybe she seems like Luke Skywalker because she is his daughter! YES THAT IS WHAT I BELIEVE. THERE IS A LOT OF EVIDENCE. Although there are a few theories out there, like her being the granddaughter of Palpatine)

S is for Skywalker, Luke, Anakin, Leia, and possibly Rey. The whole plot of the movie revolves around this family’s drama (OK, so maybe not entirely, but seriously they have some problems they need to fix).

T is for TIE Fighters, the ship that makes up the Imperial fleet. It has an unmistakable roar from the engine (the sound is cool, but you would think that they would make it quieter, so it is easier to sneak up on others. Maybe they are just so arrogant that they leave it loud).

U is for Understanding the Force, something that Han Solo did not until later. (Look, the letter U is hard, OK? Do you have a better one? That’s what I thought).

V is for Vader (Darth), the father of Luke Skywalker. He is an antagonist throughout the original movies. He joined the dark side because he was tricked by Palpatine (The Emperor). He turns good at the end of Return of the Jedi. (For some reason Kylo Ren keeps on asking him to “show him the way”. Do your research, Kylo, he turned good in the end).

W is for wookiee, tall furry creatures. Chewbacca is the famous one out of them. (I love the fact that rather than Wikipedia the Star Wars one is WookiEEpedia. I mean, that is creative.)

X is for X-Wing, a ship used by the Rebels and the Resistance. They are used to destroy the Death Star, Death Star 2, and Starkiller base (AKA Death Star 3).

Y is for Yoda, the wise Jedi who has the famous line, “Do or do not, there is no try”. He is known for speaking backwards. (Even though in the originals he didn’t always speak backwards. See above as proof).

Z is for Zooming on Speeder Bikes, done on the planet Endor. (26 letters is hard! You try coming up with 26 words starting with all the letters of the alphabet while maintaining a theme).